With this being a slower week, or as slow as any week can look preceding the descent of a distributive clusterfuck on Friday, I've decided to have a look at one of those trailers, having watched them all online like any right-minded film fan who doesn't like American football. It's a matter of very public record that I'm not a fan of Michael Bay or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, so let's have a look at the first properly representative trailer for Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
You can bitch about bias, but I have no reason to pre-judge this movie. I gain nothing from it being a pile of shit like the first sequel, so I have to hope for the best. But really, look at this trailer. It looks almost exactly the same as the first two, to the point where it could actually be a fan trailer for the third film, cannibalised from bits of the other films and uploaded on YouTube.
Well, it doesn't have Megan Fox in it like the first two, but it does have a big fucking fight in a major city, like the end of Transformers. It's also impossible to tell what the fuck is going on in any given still from an action scene, like in Revenge of the Fallenm, even taken from 720p video. Observe.
I can understand not wanting to showcase the plot (I know, don't laugh), but if you choose to showcase your action sequences instead, it's a pretty piss-poor show. You'd be better served by checking out the spots for Super 8 or Captain America, or just the trailer for Richard Ayoade's Submarine, which came out the morning after the Superbowl and manages to look more visually arresting than any of the major blockbusters peddled the night before.
I know it seems like I'm bashing Transformers: Dark of the Moon already, especially as this is a rant posted in a slow week, but I'm only judging its piece-of-shit trailer (and also the piece-of-shit title) and not the film itself. My mind is not already made up about Bay's final outing with the giant robots, because above all else, he can't make a worse film than Revenge of the Fallen, can he?