24 December 2009

Dreck the Halls...

My top ten films of the year are pretty much locked now, but it occurred to me recently that there are a number of contenders for my bottom ten still playing in cinemas, just waiting to give me grief before I make it to 2010. Very occasionally, there are films that come along that I fear will actually hurt me, and a number of those have to be watched within the next week or so. It's not a large number, but nevertheless, with Avatar being a surprising guilty pleasure of a film, I haven't had a good rant in a while. So here's what's going to be detaining me in cinematic sorrow before I can ring in the New Year.

Nativity!


I have to say I have the least trepidation for this film, because I only fear that I'd be more tolerant of it if I saw it before Christmas. It's now Christmas Eve, and this looks just a little bit too mawkish and twee for me to appreciate it after the big day's been and gone. All said, this is the film that's most likely to be overlooked in the next week or so because I can't see a review being entirely relevant. It's just that three films is a nice round number to cover.

St Trinian's 2- The Legend of Fritton's Gold


One of two sequels clogging up multiplexes this Christmas, The Legend of Fritton's Gold invokes the somewhat dubious plot device of a treasure hunt in order to continue the excellent character development of the first one. That's right- Nerdy One, Bitchy One, Ditzy One and The Twins are back! Having sat through the first film, I can say that about the one thing that makes this film look any better is that David Tennant's in it. It's always possible for an actor of Tennant's calibre to give good performances in awful films (see also: most of Michael Caine's films in the late 80s/early 90s), but I still feel a sense of dread about the whole thing.

Shit Chipmunk Film 2



As mentioned earlier in the year, I refuse to call this by the name they're actually giving it, but this just looks awful. The sequel to the pretty deplorable Alvin and the Chipmunks cashes in on the financial success of its predecessor by miring Jason Lee's career even deeper in shit and sending the pixellated rat things to high school. Yes, seriously, human high-school. More than that, the trailer promised "One Big Surprise", which it then showed us, presumably ruining any chance of it surprising anyone. It's a trio of female counterparts to the furry leads, and everytime I see any advertising for this film, I die a little more inside. If I can muster the will or level of intoxication required to see this outright pool of evilness, the ensuing rant may explode your brains. Forewarned is forearmed, readers.

As really, properly scared as I am to see Shit Chipmunk Film 2, it's not all bad news. There are plenty of good films on telly over Christmas, including the Orson Welles season on BBC Four and a Christmas Day premiere of The Incredibles on BBC One. At the cinema, I've pencilled in a trip to see Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes on Boxing Day afternoon, so you can expect a review of that film next up. Then it will all come down to listy things, so the blog should be fairly busy over the next couple of weeks.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, have a very Merry Christmas.

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